Just Between Us
12 Step programs
I Will Be Taken Care Of
Given a childhood of parental neglect—and then years of neglecting and abusing myself—I wasn’t sure how much I really wanted to survive. I felt I had nothing and no one. Without faith or trust, I finally hit bottom—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
And then something wonderful happened: I found the Twelve Step fellowship. I found people like myself, people who accept, understand, and care about me. I found a Higher Power and the Twelve Steps to guide me. I could never have envisioned these changes. They’re gifts, and I am deeply grateful.
Today I will carry the message of hope.
This inspiration is from
Today I Will Do One Thing: Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope.
© 1995 by the author. All rights reserved.
Overeaters Anonymous & Me: A Complicated Journey
The struggle is real. Trying to control compulsive eating behaviors is harder than quitting drinking. Here's what it is like for me.
Abstinence or Not
My eating history has been to eat all I want or diet (not eat). Nothing in between. I have had no concern for nutrition. Binging was for food I like until I had to once again diet (never enough even if it was something I like ).Staying on a food plan was only possible for a short time, as long as I could hold my breath.
Today I considered the word "abstinence." which means the practice of "restraining oneself." To me that feels like forced compliance. I know I'm the one forcing, but still the small child inside me does not like being restrained.
Stay tuned for my adventure with food as nourishment, not punishment.
People & Seasons
People come into your life for a
REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME
When you figure out which it is
you know exactly what to do
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or
do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it!
It is real! But, only for a SEASON.
When people come into your life for a LIFETIME, it is amazing. LIFETIME relationships teach your lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Love is my Higher Power
I struggle with the concept of a higher power. Not that I don’t believe that there is a power greater than me, but that it would want to help me. It could be my age or my Lutheran upbringing, but I was always taught that I’m supposed to do it myself. Whatever it is. But two days ago I had a wonderful revelation. If God is love, as I have long been taught, then I’m turning my will in my life over to that love. I understand love. I am loved. I love and that love is powerful. Love is my higher power and I trust it.--
After the Spring Retreat
Thank you Lora S. from Indianapolis for capturing & sharing this beautiful picture of the night sky!
I’m confident that this picture shouts volumes for all of our Step Sisters in Recovery who experienced as I did! For sure it was a soul renewal & rejuvenation for moving forward on our journey of living life on life’s terms. Together we navigate the waning & waxing, the dark & the light of living. Joy shared is twice joy & sorrow shared is half sorrow. I say thank you to ALL of you Earth angels who participated in spirit & presence this past weekend. Thank you for shining up this tarnished soul so I may once again illuminate my experience, strength & hope for others to join our sisterhood of living, happy, joyous, & free.
Grateful to Cry
I thought I wasn't able to cry because of my antidepressants. I needed to cry but even watching a sad movie didn't help. Then the dam broke and I couldn't stop. I surely was feeling my feelings: grief, anger, frustration, shame, resentment. Not sure what changed but I found myself weeping during a phone call. Little things: closing a family trust 4 1/2 years after my dad's death, seeing a photo of my 11 year old grandson. I had a headache and
felt dehydrated. I thought it was done but I awakened during the night weeping. I'm grateful.
LIfe & Self
Right Sizing of self
Easy Does It
When something isn’t working the way I think it should, I can think
about the slogan, “Easy Does It.” Instead of redoubling my effort, I
can slow down and reassess the situation. The answer I seek may
be staring me in the face, but sometimes I have to let go of what I’m
doing before I can see it.
I was trying to zip a removable lining back into my coat, but it
wasn’t working. I pushed as hard as I could, trying to force it to slide,
but it wouldn’t budge. Finally I saw that I had been trying
to fit the
lining’s zipper into the coat’s front zipper. No wonder I couldn’t make
How many times in my life have I done the same thing: forced a
solution? I’ve tried to “zip” myself to people and situations that didn’t
“fit” me, becoming frustrated and disheartened in the process. But
I’ve learned that easy does it. I can take the time to see if I “match”
what I think I want before I jump in and start “zipping.” My life is more
serene because I’m not pushing to make myself fit somewhere I
If my plans hit a snag today, I will step back for a moment and take
a calm look at the situation
before moving ahead.
6 Types of Friends That Benefit Your Recovery
BB Working With Others, p.89
To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends -- this is an experience you must not miss.
BB Foreword to Third Edition, p.xxii
In spite of the great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal.
6 Types of Friends That Benefit Your Recovery
The socializer welcomes anyone and everyone with open arms. Their friendliness extends outward, introducing you to their other friends & forever growing the reach of the group. Socializers make sure everyone gets an invite to sober-friendly outings.
The explorer hops from friend group to friend group in search of the best plan, party, or event. The explorer is not the most dependable friend, but they have great stories and invitations to spontaneous road trips and parties. The explorer will remind you that just because you’re sober, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.
Providing comfort and security, the confidant is there in times of vulnerability. The confidant will empathetically listen as you express your feelings and will absorb everything you say, providing insight and honest feedback for your situation. Never judgmental, the confidant is the friend with whom you are most honest.
The nurturer is there to take care of you. They nurturer see your struggle and offer you the help you need. They are selfless and compassionate. The nurturer makes you feel loved and valued and is the first person you turn to for help.
The Experienced Friend
The experienced friend shows you the ropes. They are dependable and wise, offering wisdom and knowledge about life in sobriety. They guide you through recovery, expand your opportunities and educate you about recovery.
The Loyal Best Friend
The loyal best friend is who you call in times of emergency because they’ve proven themselves totally trustworthy. The loyal best friend is always there for you through all of your ups and downs. Even if you lose touch, the moment you see your loyal best friend it’s like no time has passed at all.
Sponsorship Tips – SWMI IG
Wisdom from the OA Fellowship
• A Sponsor holds the light while a Sponsee does the digging
• A Sponsor’s job is to help their Sponsee look at things differently, not to fix anyone
• Sponsors set loving and kind boundaries in order to sponsor effectively and remain in
recovery (none of us can afford resentments)
• Sponsors make suggestions, not demands
• A Sponsor may function as an iron fist in a velvet glove
• Sponsees may, at times, switch Sponsors as a normal part of their recovery journey.
Both have a responsibility to ensure their relationship is working.
• When a Sponsee slips, they should discuss it with their Sponsor, write about it and
move forward. It’s progress, not perfection!
• Live life in a way that will be attractive to a newcomer
• Build a posse (a.k.a. God Squad) – We need a village and your Sponsor will not always
• Loving responses to a Sponsee reporting a food slip: Good reporting!... Thanks for
sharing…Honesty will set you free…
• When struggling; pray about it, write about it, talk about it, make outreach calls
• Work the Steps until the Steps work you
• It’s pointless to become angry or get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the
pains of growing up
• The opposite of addiction is connection
• If I don’t pick it up, I don’t have to put it down! (Detach and let go/Stay in your own lane)
• “Arrow” prayers when in need: “I trust you Lord”, “Help me Lord”, “Thy will, not mine”
OA Literature, including downloadable PDF files, can be found at: https://bookstore.oa.org
Satisfaction, Inner Self and Broke Down Cars
if we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false, so soon as one has got used to not suffering, one wants something else. Simone Well
Perhaps it's the human condition never to be satisfied and yet always to, If only ... However, the more we look within for wholeness, the greater will be our acceptance of all things, at all times.
So frequently we hear that happiness is within. But what does that mean when we may have just lost the job that supported us and our children? Or when the car won't start and funds are low? Or when we are feeling really scared and don't know whom to talk to or where to go? "Happiness is within", is a grand platitude at those times.
Nevertheless, our security in any situation is within, if we but know how to tap it. It is within because that is where the strength we are blessed with resides, the strength given us from the power greater than ourselves. Going within first takes a decision. Next, it takes stillness, and then patience. But peace will come.
We will quit wanting when we have learned how to turn to our inner strength. We will find serenity rather than suffering.
I will go within whenever I feel the rumblings of dissatisfaction today. I will look there for my joy and sense of well-being and know that divine order is in charge.